So recently my biological father deleted me off of his Facebook... Normally that kind of thing wouldn't bother me but when it's the man that is supposed to be your father it kind of cuts deep. Then I sit here and ask myself the same question I would have asked if I could have put the words together at the age of 2 when he left our family for another.
What did I do to deserve this? I haven't seen him in person in quite some time and we barely talk but I liked having the chance to. There was a chance for us to see him around Easter but my son wasn't comfortable meeting him without my husband who couldn't be there because he was away on a business trip. I'm not going to take my son out of his comfort zone for someone who was never there in his own daughters life.
Part of me feels this is why he cut ties with me. We wouldn't go see him and he's decided that that's it. Please, tell me why for the 2nd time in my life he gets to make that choice? On one hand I'm glad my son didn't meet him and have to deal with the constant ins and outs of his life. On the other, he is my dad and I would have liked to have the chance as an adult to reconnect with him and have him meet my son and husband of 15 years that he has never met. He's the only part of my family I'm not close with. I'm very close with my family and cannot stand when there isn't a connection.
Family is a big deal to me. Since he left while I was so young I've been disconnected from his side of the family as well. I talk to some of my cousins now and follow them on Facebook and cheer them on when I have the chance because whether he likes it or not they are my family.
Unfortunately my husband doesn't have much family left and my family is pretty much all he has left. I wanted to show him how wonderful it is to be a part of a big family. How happy it makes one feel. Sure there is drama but who doesn't have that in their life? I love them all the same and we get through everything together.
I guess I'm done, I just needed to ponder and vent about this situation. As the name of my blog says, Random Thoughts. :) Have a wonderful day!
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